Friday, January 26, 2007

Sometimes People are Jerks

"Sometimes, people are just jerks."
One of the people I trust most said that to me, just yesterday. To a lot of people, that may seem like common sense. Yet if you really look at the phrase carefully, it's not common sense at all.

Common sense, to me, would be this: "Sometimes, people can behave like jerks."

I'm a pretty logical person. I don't just decide, one day, on a whim, to go out and be mean to someone. I'm no saint. I can be mean, downright malicious, given the right provocation. However, I do have to be provoked.

Therefore, if someone wrongs me, or is mean or malicious to me, I always look for a reason for their actions. Did I provoke them? Has there been a misunderstanding? What's going on, to cause them to act a jerk?

In certain cases, I couldn't come to any answer. There wasn't any logic to their actions. There was no reason why. I stuggled for a long time with this. Years. Most of my life, in fact.
I developed a lot of resentment towards these people. Why the hell wouldn't they give me a valid reason for their actions? What the hell was their problem? Tell me!

"Sometimes, people are just jerks."

There is no reason for their behaviour, because they ARE jerks. It's not a behaviour. It's a state of being.

I've read about epiphanies. Moments in time when people suddenly experience a radical, 180 degree turn in their thought processes. I always thought it might be like the heavens opening, light bursting out of dark banks of cloud, sudden illumination.
It's not at all like that. It's like a car chase, when you grab the hand brake without easing up on the gas, and the car goes into a spin. Suddenly, you're somehow facing in the opposite direction, and BAM! Off you race. Wow. What a rush!

Everything suddenly made sense. Sometimes, people are jerks. They're just jerks! Amazing! I spent a day or so marvelling over my discovery.

Then, I felt really stupid. Not because I had never realised that people are jerks. I just chalk that up to my own essential oddness.
I felt stupid because I had wasted so much time caring and worrying about WHY jerks were behaving badly. That was a real downer.

Feeling stupid didn't last too long. I had to smile. I had thought I was pretty cynical. Yet I suppose if I could reach my forth decade without realising the essential truth that some people are jerks, I'm pretty innocent after all.


iPotato said...

You go girl!

I'm sensing a theme here

Tinkerbelle said...

Yes! The theme was pay close attention to grammar. Heehee.

Nice picture, very artistic. Which plays into my NEXT theme: "writing as a disciple, not an artform."